At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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