What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
