forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
