New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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