So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
