he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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