These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
