its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
40s are totally the cure
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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