well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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