Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
