you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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