I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
