The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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