I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
