Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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