Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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