i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize