Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
