Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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