i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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