my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
