I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
