I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
