Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i now understand why vodka
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
