The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
