before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
