He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
