dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
well I can't set my house on fire every night
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
