dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
