I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
