You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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