What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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