I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
