so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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