8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
