I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she peed on how many people?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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