so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
