Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
