I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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