i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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