make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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