dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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