The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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