the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
