Where is the hickey?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
