I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
