she woke up with a sticky ear
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
