No awkward lesbian experiences without me
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You are a genius and a whore.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
