Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
