he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This is my gift to your gina
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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