dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize