yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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