MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
