4 words: hood of his car
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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