I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
