I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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