sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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