yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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