i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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