i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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