I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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