The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Pooping to opera.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
