I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
