she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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