lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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