Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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