He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
