i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize