this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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