New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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