Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
